5 Ways To Know You’re Doing Great In Life No Matter Your Financial Situation

»Posted by on Jul 2, 2015 in Change Your World, Situations we find ourselves in | 0 comments

5 Ways To Know You’re Doing Great In Life No Matter Your Financial Situation

It’s all too easy to get caught up in the mini-whirlwinds of society’s low standards… what kind of car, clothes, job, house do you have, and in what part of town??? – These are very low-grade achievements; achievements made with money that may or may not have been made fairly.  They serve no greater purpose, and they are material achievements that can be taken away by Mother Nature, the repo-man, the bank, etc.

Take Away:  If a hurricane or any act of God can wipe it away, we would be fools to fall trap into thinking these are the things that define how successful we are.

1) You volunteer or donate some of your money, or time, to charity.

When we give to the poor we are working with the flow of society instead of against it. Against it would be doing whatever it takes to consume more money and possessions for yourself—dividing you from humanity.

Take Away:  Feeding a hungry belly, no matter who’s it is, feels pretty awesome.

2) You have one or two friends or acquaintances, who call you to vent.

Are you the hoist for anyone in the midst of their laments, or the ear for anyone’s strife? If you are, you probably get at least two calls per month when your sole purpose for being on the phone is to listen and possibly give some advice at the end. Some people may get these calls almost daily, others not so much.

Take Away:  Somebody feels comfortable enough to be weak around you when it is in our chemical makeup to want to hide when we’re weak.  That’s priceless and pretty incredible.

3) You’ve been humbled enough in your own life experience.

When you have, you’ll know it.  To me, this point came for me last year, when I turned 31.  At this point you stop judging others, not because you’ve been there necessarily, but because you know at any point in time, you could be.  These humbling life experiences are what molds fine character.

Take Away:  Insight and empathy are the ingredients that make us of true value to the rest of the world.be happy

4) Your job makes you happy.

I don’t know when it became commonality to hate our jobs – but hating your job, is also going against the intention of the earth. The intention of life on Earth is abundance and ease. Do plants don’t strain to grow??  On the contrary, they grow magnificently with great ease.  Don’t let fear hold you back; we shouldn’t be afraid to thrive and grow.  My fail-safe decision maker is thinking about when I’m 90-years-old, am I going to look back and say I wish I had just done x? If I feel like I would regret it, I do it. We only live once.

Take Away: If your job doesn’t take away from you (and if this is you, you know what I mean), but adds to you, you’re already far ahead of the game.

5) You own our imperfections, and you don’t make excuses for the way we are.  

When we’re officially grown up (it happens at all different ages), we own who we are. We own our mistakes, our faults, our physical features, and every facet of what makes us an individual.  We don’t make excuses because excuses are just ways in which we give away our power – our power to change and grow.

Take Away:  We have nothing to be ashamed of. We are all imperfect beings, and to act otherwise is just a lie that deteriorates society as a whole.


It doesn’t matter where you’ve been; it only matters where you’re going. I came to understand that my past is what made me the mother, writer, supporter, the partner, the friend, and the kind person I am today.

 

Live well!

By: Lauren Schroth
theKindWall.com

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How to Bond with your Children & Create Rich Family Experiences at Home

»Posted by on Jun 24, 2015 in Change Your World, Situations we find ourselves in | 0 comments

How to Bond with your Children & Create Rich Family Experiences at Home

How to Bond with your Children & Create Rich Family Experiences at Home

“Food for Thought”

by: Michele True, contributing author

The heart is formed in the home. What happens there can leave our soul wanting and wounded or nourished and sustained. The answer of how to bond with your children is simple, and right in front of your (and everyone’s) face. The importance of the home in cultivating the long-term health and well-being of one’s spirit cannot be dismissed. With so many activities attended to outside the home and a quick drive-thru for dinner, for too many, the home has become merely a pit stop and a launching pad for the next day’s hustle and bustle.Family bonding busy dinner

In contrast, imagine if you will, a much more rich experience. A moment in time where a couple, siblings, or friends and relatives gather together at the family table to share food, conversation, and eye contact. How much more valued would everyone feel if attention was directed to them without the distractions of TV or texting, all being “present” for the event at the table? Can we agree that when a person feels valued, that person feels more confident? Whoever that is sitting at your table, being fed by food, validation, and insight will be strengthened and their chances of success in the world dramatically improved.

The main objective has nothing to do with the meal

Of little importance is the quality of the food, the beauty of the dishes, or the presentation of it all. It can be Chinese carry-out or a 7-course meal. The main objective is to get the family home and at the table for a time to connect with each other. Take an interest in what happened in each other’s day. My daughters and I have some of the best memories from what occurred at the table. We learned so much there about each other and about ourselves.

Your family table doesn’t have to be your table

It can be picnicking on a blanket at the beach, sitting on your lounge chairs at the pool, or “your” table at a favorite restaurant. Dinner doesn’t have to be served on everyday dishes. I have several styles for different moods or events: fun colorful dishes, cold-water fish dishes and saltwater fish dishes, Girl’s Night dishes, romantic dinner-for-two dishes, and “souvenir” dishes. I have indoor How to Bond with your Children & Create Rich Family Experiences with fooddishes and outdoor dishes, table cloths, glass, acrylic, and bamboo. My talents in the kitchen, however, serve me at the smoke detector. I have no interest in cooking, but I find excitement in the delivery and delight in hearing my daughters’ chattering .

There can be many variables but don’t lose sight of what is important

Time will pass and children will be gone. For now, put wind in their sails, explore new avenues in their lives, share their excitement, get to know more about their friends, fears, and hopes for the future. Make memories there – at the table.

Let food be what brings you to the table and the sharing of thoughts, laughter, even tears bond you to one another. Each individual will be enriched for the experience, relationships will be deepened, and the foundation of society more stable.

Bon appétit!

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5 Keys To A Successful Life

»Posted by on Feb 13, 2015 in Change Your World | 0 comments

5 Keys To A Successful Life

How to be Successful In Life…Regardless of Finances.

The 5 Keys to a successful life you won’t find in “secrets to success” books, but are vital to true success.

It’s all too easy to get caught up in the mini-whirlwinds of society’s low standards… what kind of car, clothes, job, house do you have, and in what part of town??? – These are very low-grade achievements.  They are achievements made with money that may or may not have been made fairly, that serve no greater purpose, and they are material achievements that can be taken away by Mother Nature, the repo-man, the bank etc.

 

  1. You volunteer or donate some of your money, or time, to charity. When we give to the poor we are working with the flow of society instead of against it. Against it would be doing whatever it takes to consume more money and possessions for yourself—dividing you from humanity. But, when we give, we are in harmony with the intention of the earth, which is abundance and ease. Plus, to feed a hungry belly and put a coat on a homeless person feels exceptional.
  2. You have one or two friends or acquaintances, who call you to vent. Some people may get these calls almost daily, others not so much.  If you are of the former, you may feel like it’s not a big deal when your girlfriend calls to tell you about her horrible day – everyday – but it is. You have shown to be a safe source for confinement to at least one other person. Somebody feels comfortable enough to be weak around you, when it is in our chemical makeup to want to hide when we’re weak. Be there for them when you can. You don’t have to absorb the information and carry it around with you all day; just don’t take for granted the important role you have to be support for another – support that is vital to our quality of life.  Many individuals who are in a position of authority feel they can’t show their real self and expose weakness, emotion or fear because, in some way, they feel their reputation is at stake.  Sadly, these people often end up becoming severely depressed.
  3. You’ve been humbled enough in your own life experience. When you have, you’ll know it. To me, this point came for me last year, when I turned 31. At this point you stop judging others, not because you’ve been there necessarily, but because you know at any point in time, you could be. These humbling life experiences are what molds fine character, and are what equip us with insight and empathy – substance that makes us of true value to the rest of the world.
  4. Your job makes you happy. I don’t know when it became commonality to hate our jobs – but hating your job, is also going against the our inherent intention. The intention of life on Earth is abundance and ease. Plants don’t strain to grow. On the contrary, they grow beautifully and magnificently perfect with great ease. And Earth has more than enough substance to feed and support every living thing on it, (although, hundreds of thousands are starving—this didn’t happen by anything other than man and greed). Sometimes, all it takes is an interest, so follow that. If you know what makes you feel alive and free—art, writing, driving, selling, serving, sailing, skiing etc.—do that for a living! Your life will become pleasurable, and everything else will fall into one big happy place. To support ourselves, we were all given characteristics, gifts, or passions—purpose. For the longest time, well into my late 20s, I thought I had been skipped when passion and skill were handed out. I was a model and I couldn’t accept that was all I had to offer society—it really bummed me out. After becoming pregnant with my second child I decided to go to school for a degree in broadcast journalism. In pursing that I later found that I LOVED to write. So I write for a living from my house.  I’m not rich, but I thoroughly enjoy my time with my kids, and not having to get dressed up every day.  I literally feel so happy inside that I physically feel it and when I work I usually have a smile on my face.
  5. You own it, and you don’t make excuses for yourself. When we’re officially grown up (it happens at all different ages), we own who we are. We own our mistakes, our faults, and any facet of what makes us an individual. We don’t make excuses because excuses are just ways in which we give away our power – our power to change and grow.

It doesn’t matter where you’ve been; it only matters where you’re going.  I came to understand that my past is what made me the mother, writer, supporter, the partner, the friend, and the kind person I am today.  We have nothing to be ashamed about.  We are all imperfect beings, and to act otherwise… goes against the intention and harmony of life.

Be happy first. Then be the things that are important, that benefit and promote unity.  You WILL enjoy your life.  Experience other things, other people, other interests, and find you’ll find your purpose.  We only have one life and one life’s chance to leave a legacy.

Having a fat bank account is not a legacy you’ll leave for long after you’re dead.  But enjoying life and doing for others is not only a great legacy that will be spoke of and passes on long after you’re gone, it’s a tiny act of one person for unity and the good of humanity; and all the grand movements in history were made by many tiny acts.

Live well.

By: Lauren Schroth

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Am I Really In Love? 4 Signs For What Is True Love

»Posted by on Jan 23, 2015 in Change Your World, Situations we find ourselves in | 0 comments

Am I Really In Love? 4 Signs For What Is True Love

First off, What Is True Love?

There is no word constantly used by society that is more ambiguous than the word love. To most of the population the word is subjective, when it’s certainly not.
Perhaps due to being raised by my traditionally masculine father who loathed laziness, I deduce that to offer simple answers such as “love is relative,” is laziness. This type of answer is given by someone who lacks the desire to evaluate their relationships or superfluous value they may be putting into inanimate objects, all of which they ‘love’. Can one really love an inanimate thing such as a purse, a car, or a house, and turn to their spouse or children and say it again with the same meaning? And please don’t say there are different types of love. No, there aren’t.

Either it is truly love, or it isn’t.

Psychiatrist and bestselling author, Dr. M. Scott Peck, had a very concise way of explaining this paradox in his classic book, The Road Less Traveled.  With the help of Peck, I’m going to shed a big fat spotlight on what love is, and distinguish it from what it isn’t, and doing so with hopes of sparing all my readers countless wasted hours in their lifetime stressing on whether or not you love this girl or that guy… leaving no room for ambiguity.

Just for the sake of it, let’s define a noun. A noun is a person, place, or thing. Love is a noun. Agreed? Good. Let’s move on with it.

Love is not a feeling. Feelings are emotions. Emotions are mental reactions to outside influences and they are, by nature, easily distorted and always fluctuating, and typically they’re accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in your body.

Does love as a feeling, an emotion, sum up for you what you have between you and your spouse or you and your children – a fluctuating, subjective reaction? When you’re fed up with Sharpie artwork on your wall, wouldn’t this logic say that your feeling of anger has now, at least temporarily, replaced your feeling of love? Is that true? Of course it’s not. Your love exists regardless of any circumstance. It is never-changing.

Even though you can have a feeling of love, love is not a feeling: “The feeling of love is the emotion that accompanies the experience of “cathecting”; which is the “process by which an object becomes important to us.” Likewise, the process by which an object is no longer important to us is known as “decathecting”. It’s easy to see how cathecting and love can be confused, especially when you can cathect anything from a human to an electric toothbrush.

You don’t want to waste your time.  What is true love? Here are 4 simple ways you can tell if what you have is true love, or isn’t:

#1 – You’re not ‘self-sacrificing’

Another popular misconception about love is that love is self-sacrifice, or being unselfish. But if there is genuine love, this will not be true. Everything you do for wife is a choice you make; you make that choice because it fulfills a need you have. The need you have to feel good. Loving that person is pleasurable to you. Waking up in the middle of the night to change your friend’s flat tire in eight feet of snow is something you’re doing because it feels good. You do it because you want to, and because not doing it would hurt you on a spiritual level. Peck sais, “In a real sense love is as selfish as non-love.”

#2 – Are there clauses to your commitment?

How many times have you heard couples say that they’ve fallen out of love? The loving feeling is gone so they assume that person wasn’t their ‘soul-mate’ and they move on vowing to not make that same mistake with the next person. Well, the cold hard truth is that sooner or later couples always feel they’ve fallen out of love. The good news is that “it is at this moment when the mating instinct has run its course that the opportunity for genuine love begins.” When you can distinguish the butterflies as “cathexes,” and not genuine love, you will see that the glue that holds you and your partner together is the commitment. In a marriage, the spouses “have made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present.”

#3 – Does listening feel like work?

“If an act is not one of work or courage, then it is not an act of love.”
The most prominent form of work in any relationship is attention. It takes work to truly pay attention to someone. When my six-year-old daughter tells me about one of her dreams, I have to physically work at paying attention to her. Her “dream-stories” can go on for an hour and they jump around completely free of sequential order. There are long pauses of silence while she tries to remember all the pieces to her dream puzzle – then bursts of words a mile a minute. Even though I usually end up with a headache, I listen.

My listening to her is absolutely an act of true love.

#4 – How much risk do you take?

It takes courage to change and when there’s love, there is going to be change. No doubt about it; it takes courage to love – to extend oneself. Self-love takes courage too – a lot of it. If you find yourself miserable twenty years from now having realized that you spent most of your life chasing success only to prove someone wrong who didn’t believe in you when you were twelve-years-old is not self-love – you have not been true to your self. To be true to who you are is absolutely courageous. As a psychologist, Dr. Peck often mentions a common theme among many of his patients who were depressed was these people had been living their lives not being true to themselves—many times out of fear or spite. They realize they’re depressed because they’ve spent their entire life trying to please someone else.

Live your life courageously. I personally believe you have to love your self first before you are able to know the pleasures of loving someone else. Loving the unique and wonderful person who you are, and loving other people takes commitment, work, and risk, but it is a decision, a choice you make. You can choose to love someone or not to love someone.  That being said, “True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed,” says Peck, “It is a committed, thoughtful decision.”

Choose wisely.

By: Lauren Schroth

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When the Friendship is Dead…

»Posted by on Jan 15, 2015 in Situations we find ourselves in | 0 comments

When the Friendship is Dead…

My Friendship Is Dead. And Facebook Killed It.

There are over 7 billion people on the earth.  So I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m going to assume that everyone knows somebody who stands for and believes different things.

Even if we do there’s a good chance we don’t know it because not everyone goes around enlightening us with their religious or political views.  For me, even when people do, it’s all fine, when done respectfully.

But, this didn’t feel fine…

It’s always been tough for me, as a Christian, to turn my back on people because I’ve always thought it isn’t right, and definitely not for views on things such as politics and religion, as long as they weren’t disrespecting or harming anyone. But this one person was really getting to me…via Facebook.

I was constantly finding myself in a mental moral debate of whether to keep him as a Facebook friend, or to unfriend him.  It sounds kind of trivial, but if we’re honest, Facebook has changed the way we communicate with people and who we communicate with, and it is a huge part of the way we interact as a global society.

I didn’t know what to do.

We went way back…

I liked him!!

I needed advice.  Good advice.  I needed someone wise.

There’s a woman I know.  She’s older, in her sixties, very kind and very wise.  Since I started writing and working from home she’s been visiting with me once a week.  I chose to ask her for advice.

I find that when we go to our friends for advice they’re usually too much like us; they usually have recycled answers that they got from one of their friends, their advice usually isn’t something we haven’t heard before, and many times they’re going to tell us what they think we want to hear.  So when I want advice on something important to me I try to ask at least one person older and wiser than myself, someone who’s experienced more in life—and has succeeded—usually these are the people who aren’t afraid to tell the truth.

I told her about my situation with this person that I was close to about ten years ago.  I told her how for the past couple years, since he joined Facebook, I had been painfully enduring his antichrist and extremely crude misogynist posts, hesitant to “un-friend” him only because we go way back.

She referenced me to the bible, as she always does.

The two verses that were the most direct were: 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled; bad company corrupts good character, and Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Of course we should help people and love people and invest in people, but it’s not wise to surround yourself with people who put you in situations where you feel challenged and disrespected, especially when they’re outspoken about it and constantly throw their opposing opinions in your face – or all over your Facebook feed.  As I write that sentence, I’m thinking to myself Wow, that seems pretty obvious, Lauren… but it wasn’t.  I had been wrong all along…

For the last two years I had been struggling with this moral dilemma of: should I keep him as a Facebook friend, or unfriend him?  Now I finally had an answer.

I told her that after his last antichrist post I did something I had never done.

I commented.

In my comment I told him that he should take his own advice (his post referenced how he couldn’t stand Christian’s because they’re always pushing and throwing around their faith in God…) and stop smearing his antipathy for Christians all over the place.  He replied with something to the effect of Facebook is a place where people can speak their views on whatever they want.

I guess he’s right.  It is his Facebook wall and he can post whatever he wants.  But it’s sad.  I unfriended him.

My life has been more pleasant, and I no longer have to worry about what garbage I’m going to see from him on Facebook and wonder how we were ever friends.  If I would have cut the cord from him two years ago when this started, my last memories of him would’ve been the fun and crazy adventures we had together in our early twenties, and not how disturbed I became by his views on women and people of faith.  However, the friendship is dead now.

I think that sometimes we need to cut the cord.  There’s no reason to hold on to something because of something that once was, if what once was is long gone.  If we hold on for the wrong reasons we risk damaging ourselves.  I treasure myself too much to allow that to happen. Of course after my decision Facebook came out with an option to simply block posts and that could have taken care of my problem.  But do I even want to be associated with someone who blatantly hates the two very things that make up who I am?

No, thanks.

Cord = Cut.

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Changing Your Perception Will Change Your World (Literally)

»Posted by on Jan 9, 2015 in Change Your World, Situations we find ourselves in | 0 comments

Changing Your Perception Will Change Your World (Literally)

What you see is what you get…

Could it be that something so simple as changing your perception could actually change your world?  Or is the simplicity of the concept exactly what steers people clear from exercising it?

Sure, expensive psychotherapy and life coaches certainly have their appeal, and the best ones are the best because they’re skilled at getting their clients to do one foundationally important thing: change their perception.  Perception is EVERYTHING.Abraham_Lincoln323

When you think about your problems, or the problems of others, you are going to see problems because by thinking about them you are searching for them.  And if you are searching for problems your mind will create problems for you, even when there is no problem there—because if it didn’t you would think you’re going crazy.

So problems will show up for you, thusly affirming your thoughts, and you will continue on this gloomy cycle noticing faults and finding issues with everything, because what you see is what you get.

When you’re looking at a giant problem that doesn’t exist—because you created it—you might as well be looking at Stalin in a thong standing in your bedroom…he isn’t there, either.

But I do have a problem and I know it exists.

If your car is broken down, you may very well say that it’s clearly a problem.  It is a problem only because you're perceiving it as one.  But what if you look at it like an opportunity to:
Bruce Lee222A) Learn something in the process.  It is very probable that you’ll learn something during this situation with your car.  This new knowledge will come in very handy one day, or you may pass it on to your child, whom it will come very much in handy for one day.
B) You gain a new car.  You finally decide your car is a bottomless money pit and you buy a new one.  Or, you tell your family/friends what happened to your money pit and somebody helps you get one.
Or, C) You choose to walk, bike, or bus it to work/school/grocery store.  You will get a car one day, but for now, you can manage by other means of transportation (as so many people in the world do everyday) and in the meantime you’re saving money!

And wouldn't you agree the likeliness of any of these happening is highly probable?  If not these outcomes, how probable are the other options? You get hit by a car, your life turns to shambles, or you never get a car again?

It’s all about your perception.

Become limitless

When we perceive situations as problems we are limiting ourselves, ultimately giving up our own power.  You certainly don't want to limit yourself and nobody should ever willingly give up their power.  You have the power to work on perceiving your Walls2circumstances differently.  Stop adding extra meaning to (especially neg. meaning!) to your situation and start to look at it as what it really is - a situation - a blank situation. An opportunity.   - Opportunity to learn, grow, and change. 

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